haymitch

[polyapathy]

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[polyapathy]

[She is never letting this go, is the thing. She nudges at him.]

I do not. Not ten minutes ago you—

[...were saying how you'd kill Edelgard for her. There's a moment of stutterstep as she redirects off of that awful joke, but they're moving on.]

No, but have you see the other tapes? Not a single one of them actually fucked except us.

[She is still undecided about how she feels about this. Embarrassment, yes, but more realizing they went the fucking distance instead of just phoning it in like everyone else. Sure didn't realize that was an option.]

[oraculi]

[He shrugs one shoulder.]

Taako wouldn't stop reminding me. I don't exactly see why it's bad. Oh, no, I got to fuck a pretty girl and make her laugh all in one, what a terrible turn of events.

[polyapathy]

[Would that we could all have as little shame as Haymitch. Katy grimaces as the mention of Taako.]

It's not bad, it's just... You can fuck a pretty girl whenever you want.

[...]

On the other hand, seems to me the rest of the ship ought to give their balls a tug. Fucking embarrassing display out there, boys.

[oraculi]

[The turn of phrase makes him laugh, at least.]

Ya think? You're lucky I'm here, sweetheart, you'd never get a good lay otherwise.

[polyapathy]

[Her eyes narrow, but she's still smiling. He's right, as per usual, but more specifically, he's cornered her into his being objectively right based on her own logic.

He's gonna get them all out of here.

And then she's gonna kill him herself over all these times when he's used his power for evil.]

That's a Texas-size 10-4. What did I tell you? I need you around.

[oraculi]

[THAT'S WHY HE'S THE MENTOR, KATY.]

Then I'll endeavor to do just that.

[It's overly enunciated, a parody of the kind of high-class city accents that are a constant no matter the world.]

C'mon. Can we move to bed, or does her highness wanna sleep elsewhere tonight?

[polyapathy]

[It is very annoying, how thoroughly he has her number. But it works, of course it does, and she stands.]

I could stay.

[She offers him a hand.]

Unless you've got Beck coming by, since she's your favorite and all.

[It's a joke. This next part is not, though!]

Hm, I wonder if we could get her to fuck both of us together...

[oraculi]

[Well, that just about stops him dead in his tracks. It's only for a moment or two, sure, but it still counts. It's very much a point in her favor.]

You're the one doing the asking. Not me.

[Good for him, that he manages that, is what I say, good for Haymitch.]

[polyapathy]

[YA WAN' KNOW WHAT GOOD FOR HAYMITCH what a great fuckin' guy, fuck.]

Fucking duh, big shooter. I'm not new here. Ooh, while we're talking plans, let's pencil in Nathan. I'd bet anything he'd stroke out between the two of us.

[oraculi]

[I GUESS, is more or less his expression right now.]

You're that eager to see him and me go at it?

[polyapathy]

[She scoffs, heading off for the bedroom.]

No. I mean, I'll share him, sure, but not everything's about you, bud.

[She turns to face him, jerking her thumbs at herself.]

Two cocks for Katy-Kat, that's what I'm after.

[oraculi]

[Is there any way to respond to this? Probably not. Probably the best he can hope for is a grimace and a jerky sort of nod, like, yep, okay, well, there you go, then.]

Just get in the damn bed.